Matt O'Neill teaches us that happiness is a choice, even when life gets tough. His work has positively impacted the lives of over 100,000 people worldwide. As a leader in happiness education, Matt teaches how to live a life of "Conscious Happiness". Matt is the author of the book "Good Mood Revolution", and has a podcast of the same name. He explains the importance of conquering negative thought patterns while embracing habits that lead to a happier life. He and his wife have 4 children, they run 2 businesses with over $8 Million in revenue, and his company was recognized as the #1 company to work for in South Carolina.
In this episode, you will be able to:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:00 - The Skill of Happiness
00:08:35 - Building Wealth through Real Estate
00:11:38 - The Future of Real Estate Investments
00:20:07 - Overcoming Negative Moods
00:25:01 - Gratitude and Perspective
00:26:50 - Real Estate Challenges
00:27:29 - Internal Happiness
00:29:30 - Good Mood Revolution
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Matt O'Neill
So happiness is a skill. It's a skill that we learn and that we execute in the moment because we can only be happy in the moment. The future will be another now moment. And if we haven't developed that skill on our journey to wealth creation, we'll get to that future point and we still won't know how to be happy. And so we'll be unfulfilled, unsatisfied, anxious. Even with all the money in the world, we can still feel anxious and feel like we don't have enough.
Mike Swenson
Welcome to the REL Freedom show, where we inspire you to pursue your passion to gain time and financial freedom through opportunities in real estate. I'm your host, Mike Swenson. Let's get some REL Freedom together. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of REL Freedom, where we talk about real estate leverage freedom, how we can build time and financial freedom through different opportunities in real estate. And as a lot of you guys here that listen to the podcast, there's so many different ways that you can do it, and that's what I love, is being able to highlight different people's different stories and how they're doing that in real estate. There's so many different ways to pursue that. Today, I'm really excited. We're also going to talk about a very important topic, which is happiness. You know, if we can build time and financial freedom and be miserable, then it's all not worth it. And so we want to be able to do that, to live a life that has some enjoyment along with it. And so we've got Matt O'Neill here. Matt is out of the Charleston, South Carolina area, has a real estate team, has mostly single family holdings, property management, new build development, doing some build to rent. We'll talk about all of that. You teach audiences how to live a life of conscious happiness. And you have a book called Good Mood Revolution as well as a podcast talking about that, explaining the importance of conquering negative thought patterns while embracing habits that lead to a happier life. So if you want to talk about being happier, stick around here and let's, let's dig into it. Matt, we're so excited to have you on the show.
Matt O'Neill
What's up, Mike? Man, I'm so happy to be here today, man. Real estate is, I think the best vehicle for wealth, and wealth is not a guarantee of happiness. So these are two of my favorite topics. The best news is that you can become wealthy while being miserable and grinding and hustling and delaying happiness until that one day when we reach all our goals. It's not necessary, though. We can also become wealthy while being insanely happy, insanely joyful, like totally enjoying the journey and the destination at the same time. And so that's what I hope to teach today.
Mike Swenson
So why don't you share a little bit about your background? Obviously, you've carved out a career in real estate, so maybe kind of talk about that and how that's built into your kind of your platform here. Talking about happiness.
Matt O'Neill
I got into real estate sales in 2006, and I specifically got into that career because I wanted to help people. Like, I wanted. Wanted to do something that people cared about. And people really care about their house, right? They really care about having a place to live and keeping their family safe. And all their dreams are tied up in this home. And I wanted to be part of something meaningful with my career, and that's why I chose it. I also knew that if I got really good at real estate, that the majority of the world's millionaires were made in real estate. I'm like, so a side benefit here to helping the world is that I'm going to learn a very valuable skill about building wealth. And unfortunately, I didn't have a coach and mentor early in my career, and I sold all the assets I bought so that I could trade up and get bigger ones. And, you know, my first piece of real estate advice is don't sell. And, you know, it's like, if you're. If I had kept the first condo that I bought at age 25 and had my wife keep her town home that she had when I was 29, and then kept the house that I had at age 30, and then we kept the other house. You know, that's millions in real estate assets. And what did we get back? You know, maybe tens of thousands in exchange for millions. So one. One of my favorite lines I get from my buddies is, nobody's upset about the real estate investment they bought 15 years ago. You're just not. You're not. And so I understand about reallocating assets, and if you have a bigger vision, but if we're just getting started in real estate investing, the best thing to do is hold on to the chips that you've got. Don't pull your chips off the t. So now I teach the people in my real estate company. I've got a real estate company with 50 real estate agents, and I've coached many of them into multimillionaire status. Not because of sales. They'll make a few hundred thousand making sales. And I'm like, keep living on less than 100 and then take that other 100 or 200 and then buy an asset. If you could just buy one real estate investment a year, over time, these assets will build up and then you're going to have a portfolio that's worth quite a bit of money. And I had one guy who bought Airbnbs and he moved his entire family to Portugal and all the rental income off of his Airbnbs that he invested. He worked with me for eight years. In eight years, he built enough passive income to move his family to Portugal and he's living off of those real estate assets. I have not done as good of a job as Shane. That's my buddy, Shane. I'm at. I'm at about 50%. I'm at 45% of my monthly expenses covered by passive income. The asset class I love to buy is new construction, single family. I've bought them all. I've bought multifamily, We've managed multifamily. I've sold those and I bought older single family. And then that's not fun for me. I own a commercial building, but I just, again, it's that idea of home and providing a great home. And I get really excited about providing a great home to people. It just connects with me. So what I'm currently into is buying pieces of land and then building to rent. And I've got a great company, they're a national company. It's called America's Home Place. They'll build on your lot. Construction cost all in with lot prep is less than 200 a foot. And we get hardy plank and granite countertops and nice flooring. And. And if they're in your town, you guys should check into them because they do a really good job.
Mike Swenson
I love it. And you know what's cool is everybody has their own preference, right? And so you're doing kind of building off of what you're good at and what you love doing. But I also love the idea of helping the agents on your team to build wealth. That was something I was passionate about as well, because you see all these real estate agents that come in and they treat it just like a sales job, right? Like, I always give the example, like I could sell copy machines or I could sell houses. And so I'm going to sell houses because it's a bigger ticket item. I don't have to sell as many, but if it doesn't work out, I'll just go back to selling copy machines or I'll go back to selling whatever it is. And they Treat themselves like a salesperson. It's like, no, you're, you're in an opportunity where you have so much future potential. And so a lot of time as agents will look at year one, two or three in the industry and think, oh, I made more at my other job in sales, so I'm just going to go back to that career. And it's like, no, you, you, you're missing out on the future opportunity here. And so I love how you're really helping people. I wanted people, when they left our team to have put something substantial in their bank account, more than just the sales they've made. And that's really important.
Matt O'Neill
Yeah, yeah. We're not going to become multimillionaires on a sales career. We're going to become multimillionaires on the assets we buy. We want to plant seeds and then let time grow them into giant orchards. I just really love the idea of buying land and developing it. And there's. It's a value add. And other people aren't, you know, of course there's other developers that are doing it, but the big developers like Lennar or Dr. Horton, they're looking for big tracts of land, the infill lots. If you can find a really great area that has great home prices, great rentals, and then find a good builder that can build a good quality product at a low cost per foot, you're walking into a couple hundred thousand of equity every time you make the trade. And what's great about a new home, if you plan to keep it, is that it doesn't have issues. You get 10 years of issue free, no maintenance cost, or it needs a new roof or the H vac has gone out. That stuff just is a non issue. They rent for more money as well, and then they're worth a lot.
Mike Swenson
Talk a little bit about working with your agents and helping them to see the bigger picture. So you had given the example of, you know, you're the guy that did the Airbnbs. But for real estate agents listening or just people looking to get into real estate, how can you help them? Or how can people take these next steps to really focus on growing wealth in addition to their sales? It's a tricky industry that we're in and I think sometimes people are always just so focused on chasing the next sale. You look up and you're three years down the road and you've done nothing to accomplish your future savings goals. So how do you work with folks on that?
Matt O'Neill
Yeah, I just set a goal and the goal needs to be. I'm going to buy at least one asset a year. So can I buy one rental this year, just one, and then just get very intense. I'm going to get one purchase this year and get it. And it's always scary. Every single. I don't care if you've bought a bunch of them. Every single purchase in the beginning is scary. And you wonder if you got enough cash to do it and can I put it together? The only rule I tell them is it has to cash flow. So if you're going to have a property management company, you got that expense in there, you're going to have some maintenance costs, you're going to have some vacancy costs. The tenants aren't always going to take good care of it. So you got to, you got to put some numbers into those buckets and say, okay, with all of these expenses, taxes, insurance, is it going to cash flow? If it doesn't cash flow, it's not a deal. If it does cash flow, pull the trigger again. You will never be upset about that real estate asset in 10 years. In 10 years you'll say, oh, I'm so glad I did that. It's now put hundreds of thousands into my net worth. And if we do that every single year, let's say we just do it for 10 years. We just buy one property a year for 10 years. The end of 10 years, we got a portfolio that's worth millions. And within time, that portfolio will be paid down, the rent appreciation will go up. This is your retirement. You'll retire with 30,000amonth coming in on these properties. If you had 10 properties, they'll all be netting you 3,000amonth right in rental income. And if you don't, if you've paid these notes off, you're getting $30,000 a month in income just because you bought one property a year for 10 years. I think anybody can get on board with this simple idea. Now if after you buy one the next year, you're like, man, that was kind of easy. Let me see if I can buy two this year. Do it. And it's as long as they cash flow, as many as you can buy, do it. The sooner you do it, the better it's going to be for you.
Mike Swenson
We were actually just talking about this yesterday with a couple agents on my team. We were talking about the first investment property that we bought years ago. And then we were looking at a property that somebody had bought a couple of years ago that we were interested in buying. And you think, oh, man, like, they got that for such a great price. And so the phrase we always talk about, you know, what's the two best times to plant a tree 20 years ago and today, Right? So we already missed that time 20 years ago. But the best thing I can do is plant a tree today. And so let's lock something in at today's prices so that a year, two years, ten years from now, we can say, oh, my gosh, I can't believe we got it for that little. And we continue to hold it, right?
Matt O'Neill
I always say that. Like, they're like, man, I can't. People bought these places for, like, less than 100 grand in the 90s. And then they're like. And I'm like, yeah. And then they bought them for like 200,000 less than today's prices three years ago. I'm like, where do you think these prices will be in 10 years? In 20 years? I haven't seen them go back. I saw a little blip there from 2008 to 2013, but other than that little blip, I haven't seen them back up. So I'm not saying buy things at market value. Be smart. Like I said, I think this purchasing a piece of infill land in a great area and developing is a fun and easy way to. To walk into equity. But if you have other ways to buy things 10% or 15% under market, that's the thing you want to look for. Do the deals exist out there where you can get them for 60 cents on the dollar? Maybe I don't like taking advantage of people. So that's one of my other rules here. I'm not. I don't love the idea of going up to somebody knowing their house is worth 300 and giving them 150 for it. That just doesn't feel right to me. But as a real estate agent, I'm an advocate for other people's wealth, too. So, you know. But you know this. We. I love to teach people how we can be happy at the same time. One of the eight negative moods I talk about, there's just eight negative moods that get in the way of us being happy. One of those moods is desire. Desire is really positive in that we can set these big goals, but desire is insatiable. So it doesn't Matter how much we achieve and how much we succeed. If we're caught in this desire for more, there will never be enough. And you see this a lot, especially as people are building wealth. They're like, I. If I just get to this number, then I'll be happy if I just. Then they get to that number and they're like, yeah, but so and so has got like 15 times more than me. So I actually, I don't have my private jet yet. If I could just get my private jet, then I'll be happy. We get the private jet and they're like, yeah, but so and so has got a 300 foot yacht and I don't have a 300 foot yacht. And we get the yacht and we see somebody's got a 500 foot yacht. It never actually ends, this desire. It's insatiable and it's not fulfillment. I think that it's great to get passive wealth and passive wealth is fun because it gives us freedom, but it's not. It's not our everything. What we want to do is we want to focus on what actually makes us feel fulfilled today. If we don't feel happy now, the future is just a future now. So happiness is a skill. It's a skill that we learn and that we execute in the moment because we can only be happy in the moment. The future will be another now moment. And if we haven't developed that skill on our journey to wealth creation, we'll get to that future point and we still won't know how to be happy. And so we'll be unfulfilled, unsatisfied, anxious. Even with all the money in the world, we can still feel anxious and feel like we don't have enough set. You know that saying from Biggie Smalls, more money, more problems. Well, look at Puff Daddy. Dude had all the money, had everything going that you could possibly have going. And yet, you know, whatever negativity was inside of him because he didn't learn how to deal with these negative emotions, it destroyed him. And this is a common thing. It happens over and over and over and over. And it's just, all it is, is, is these eight negative emotions. They can get in the way of what actual true joy looks like. But when we're really joyful, we're really kind. We're not. We're not dragging women down the hall by their hair. We're not taking advantage of people. We're not hating on people. What, what Puff Daddy had was a lack of self love. And because he didn't have self love, he couldn't love and respect other people. Didn't Matter. The money didn't help him. And so that's, that's kind of why I teach what I teach.
Mike Swenson
Yeah, you're absolutely right. There's a, there Is an element of always wanting more. Lots of people have lots of success, but, yeah, they're. They're working so hard, they're away from their family. They're working so hard, they're not being able to do the activities that they love to do that give them joy. How did you kind of decide that this was something you were gonna research more on and kind of commit to? Did it kind of just happen organically or you just made a decision of, I'm gonna study happiness and I'm gonna, you know, alter your life. And I'm curious to hear kind of, how did you notice your life changing as you kind of dug deeper into some of these concepts?
Matt O'Neill
Man, Mike. I think it was a life mission, man. When I was a kid, I thought that I was gonna teach the world about how to be happier and nicer. And then, you know, and I wasn't the happiest kid. I had some tough things, some challenges in childhood, like most of us do, and. And then I had to work through a bunch of teen stuff and a bunch of addictions and things like that into my 20s, and. And then I had to work through my addiction to success and wealth, like I'm talking about now. What I found was, though, that I always kind of had this idea that I was going to help people become happier. Even when I wasn't happy, I still continued to have this thought I was going to teach people how to become happier. So I. I believe I was born into this world with a life mission that. To help the world become a happier place. And then I found myself. I started out reading all the books on success, and I would come across a book that would talk about emotional peace and how to be kinder people and how to love the world and then how to develop spiritually and emotionally, and I would just be enthralled with it. And then I found myself. The only books I cared to read were books about my own development on my own joy. And then. And then I just became a voracious consumer of all this content and traveling all over the world to meet with the greatest gurus out there that teach how to do this, and then eventually just started helping people do it myself.
Matt O'Neill
Yeah, absolutely. It's wherever we put our energy is, is where our life is going to go. And it's not much like to put our energy into being happy. It doesn't take much. The only issue is, is that we just don't know how. No one teaches it. It is, it is a skill that is, is kind of lost on the world. We the, the idea, the American dream is this idea that we'll have a house with a white picket fence. We'll have a nice car that people envy, that will have a wife and children that look that look the part and that we'll have money in the bank and that this will make us happy. So many people achieve that dream and yet 75% of the world is addicted to something. So in the United States we've got drug addiction, we've got prescription drugs and it's, you know, it's pretty common. We've got alcohol addiction. This is 75% of the world is using these substances. And I think in men, pornography addiction is close to 90%. It's definitely over 80%. So these addictions are saying I don't feel content right now. I need some, something else. I need more. I need something to stimulate me because I don't feel happy. And Joyful in this moment, why aren't we happy? It's because we don't know how to be. We think that this idea that I'll get these things in the external world will make me happy. And then what happens is somebody gets sick, our mom isn't well, we have a financial deal go wrong. One of our properties has water intrusion. It's going to be hundreds of thousands to fix. We get betrayed by a business partner. All this stuff goes wrong in the world, and we're like, well, I can't be happy right now. I got to fix all these things, and then I'll be happy. Here's the reality. If we can't learn to be happy in the chaos of this moment, we can never be happy. Because life is change, and change is uncomfortable, and change makes us feel uncomfortable. All of this being sick or losing money, this is just part of the journey. So the journey is about how can I find peace and joy in the midst of this craziness and this change that comes from my book. So my book talks about how to overcome the eight negative moods. There's just eight of them. Shame, guilt, hopelessness, sadness, fear, lust, anger, and desire and pride. And then to choose eight positive moods. And the first of those eight positive moods is humility, which, Mike, you and I discussed. But humility is this idea that I'm no better than anyone. Even as I accomplish my financial goals. Yes, I'm special because everyone is special. And yet I'm not more special than any other person, that everything I have was gifted to me by a source that's greater than me. Doesn't Matter what you call it. But you didn't create yourself, so you didn't create your abilities. You didn't create your smarts. You didn't curate your physical abilities. You weren't. You were born with all your limbs. Not everybody was born with all their limbs. Right? And so, like, as we start to take credit that I'm special and I've done things that are better than other people, maybe we need to give credit to something else that created us this way, that gave us even the chance to be who we are. And that humility then creates a foundation that we can build on to say, okay, if something gave me this, then I'm going to be grateful to it. And as we start to choose gratitude every single day, at that point, we get open to, okay, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for everything I have. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This. This eases that disease of more we start to notice we've always had enough before we hit our financial goals, we had enough. Now that we're on track for our financial goals, we have enough. And maybe we don't then have to get the private plane because we have enough now, and we're already happy now. We don't need it to feel fulfilled, because we can feel fulfilled in this moment. I'm not saying you can't get the private jet and also feel fulfilled. You can, but you don't need it to feel fulfilled.
Mike Swenson
Absolutely. Because if you have that mindset of one more, one more, whether it's one more property, one more closing, one more, whatever, you're never going to hit that point of arrival, and you'll be chasing that your whole life. And so, yeah, you're right. Absolutely. Understanding being happy where you're at. And then, yeah, you can have more financial freedom through having, you know, building and growing your businesses, building and growing your portfolios, but you don't need that to make you happy. It'll. It'll change how you live. But that's not the source of the happiness.
Matt O'Neill
Totally. Yeah. Yeah. So. So the. The crux of all of this is how can I be absolutely in love with everything that's going on right now? And, Mike, think about a really happy day. What was a really happy day for you?
Mike Swenson
I would say the ones that come to mind are, you know, birth of my kids. Right. You know, when. When your first kid. Right. You see them come in and you realize, my life's going to change forever. Right.
Matt O'Neill
What an amazing experience. Right? I've got. I've got four kids. They are definitely some of the most profound, happy days of my life. On a. On the day that your first boy was born, on that day, not everything was perfect. I just know, because not every day is perfect. There were things going on in your life on that day that probably would annoy you on maybe any other day. But on that day, you said, I love my reality. I have a son. My wife is safe, I'm safe. You're having gratitude that it all went right, that this lifelong dream of being a dad has been fulfilled. And on those days, we feel profound joy because we just love our reality. That's the blueprint. So every day we can actually say, I love my reality. Every single day. We choose to love our reality instead of resist it any. If we have even the slightest bit of resistance to some issue or challenge or problem, and we're not loving our reality, we are creating suffering for ourselves and we're losing our happiness. But here's the thing, man. Mike, your son is still alive. In fact, you have three sons. All three of them are alive. Your wife is alive. You're healthy. You can walk. You're not in a wheelchair. You're getting to do this podcast and inspires millions of people. You're out here making such a big difference. You have won the lottery. Every single day could be like, I won the lottery. There are a hundred thousand people in the United States that wake up, and somebody that they love didn't wake up today. And so every day that we say this, I love this day. I love this reality. This. Like, this day is like the birth of my son. This day is like, I just won the lottery. Look at. Look at my net worth. I can't. I. What if it was just handed to you today, right? That. That it was like, you won the lottery. If the more we feel like that, the happier our life is and the more we resist things that are going on. Like, I wish that challenge wasn't here. Just. Just today in that commercial property we own, a mold inspector came through and he said, oh, yeah, all the window flashings were put on incorrectly. And so the entire building, the windows are going to need to come out and be reinstalled correctly, and there's mold all in the walls, and it's going to be hundreds of thousands. I found that out probably 10 minutes before you, and I got on the phone, and I said to my wife, I said, we don't get to be real estate investors without challenges in real estate investing. You can't have both. I would much rather be a wealthy real estate investor and deal with the challenges that come with it than not at all. But you can't have it both ways. I can't be a wealthy real estate investor and not have real estate investing challenges. The one comes, there's two sides of the same coin. The other thing I said is that if. If there's a problem and we have the money to solve it, we don't have a problem. Dwelling on a problem is just going to make me resist my reality and not realize that I've already won the lottery. Now I have to deal with it. One of the good moods I talk about my book is the mood of responsibility. I didn't put the windows in myself. I didn't incorrectly install the flashings, but I own the building, so I'm responsible for it. Am I going to ask the builder to fix it? Sure. That's my first call. If he chooses not to, I'll deal with it, but it's like. It's like worrying about it or being upset about it would just take me out of paradise. And I'm just not willing to do.
Mike Swenson
That, you know, just to. To kind of think about. You had mentioned about the idea of winning the lottery. People also aspire to, oh, I want to win the lottery. And when you study people that have won the lottery, most of them lose their money or, you know, have issues with that, too. So it kind of goes back to, right. This desire of, like, the grass is always greener or one more dollar, one more this. And even for a lot of people, the winning, the actual winning of the lottery doesn't turn out to fulfill them. Right. And so, yeah, it's. It's inside, it's not exterior that's going to make you happy.
Matt O'Neill
Happiness is an internal game, and our happiness is our choice. It's our choice of perspective. Any moment, we're unhappy, agitated, frustrated. Any moment, we're in one of those eight bad moods. I call them lies. And I. And in my book, I talk, there's a lie for each of those eight negative emotions. Any moment, we're stuck with one of those lies in our brain. We are not perceiving reality the right way. Our incorrect perception of reality is skewing our emotions and is making us believe that this negativity is a truth. The truth is always love. The whole universe, the fabric of the universe, is created by love. Everything is. It's a really friendly universe. This is what Einstein said. We live in a friendly universe. Fully believe it. I believe that everything is helping us, even the challenges, even this. The window flashings put on the wrong way and hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage and mold, and all the people that work there saying, I smell mold and all the deal, you know, that there is some reason, there's some cosmic reason I've attracted this experience to myself. There's some reason I'm going through it. I'm going to become a greater version of myself because I go through it. So if we can bless our challenges and say thank you for this challenge, I know it's here to help me, that this ultimately is serving me. We're going to live happier, too.
Mike Swenson
Awesome. Well, thank you, Matt, so much for coming on and sharing your story. Obviously, there's so much more that we can learn. So how can people kind of reach out to you and dig in deeper into your book, the Good Mood Revolution?
Matt O'Neill
Yeah, man. Well, first thing is that your podcast is awesome. And if somebody's looking to build wealth they should definitely continue to listen to you. And if they're looking to build wealth and then also be happy, I've got a podcast called Good Mood Revolution. So if you want to add a second podcast to your repertoire, check out Apple or Spotify Good Mood Revolution and we'll talk about how to be happy with all this money that you're creating with Mike's podcast.
Mike Swenson
Well, thank you so much for coming on. Shir and Matt, appreciate your time, time and best of luck as you continue to grow and inspire others to be happy. That's an awesome place to be, right?
Matt O'Neill
Absolutely. Thank you, Mike.
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